Donor XY

“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” – Jane Howard

Jeanine asked yesterday where I hide our stash of batteries. She needed to put them in the digital ovulation kit and suddenly realized that I’m like the guy in the family… keeping us stocked with batteries and a well-organized toolbox. Yes, we do have roles in our household that have nothing to do with my gender. I definitely oversee most of the “husband” categories.

You probably can quickly conclude that Jeanine is the one planning to carry our baby. We are starting a family. Well, we are taking a stab at getting pregnant. We did our research this summer for a donor and we’re on the waiting list for his next “release” as they call it. He seems to be very popular.

At the sperm bank, the staff provide written “impressions” and our donor has been described as “very, very handsome”. There was a really clever article in The Atlantic Monthly by Lori Gottlieb and her account mirrors our experience. There is something oddly strange and somewhat akin to online dating when trying to pick the father of your child.

I believe we have made a good choice. I wish I could post his baby picture but I’m sure that would breach some sort of confidentiality. Jeanine is an attorney… believe me, she would make me take his picture off Sitting Pretty so I better not even try. But he is adorable and I’m pleased that he’s my representative in the gene pool.

All that said, we’re ready to go which means many added expenses in the coming months and years. This should give me plenty of fresh blog topics. So let’s start with, can we afford to have kids? Deborah Fowles at About.com writes, “If you considered only the financial implications of having children, you might end up childless. There’s no two ways about it: having a child is very expensive. Financial experts say a home is the biggest investment most people will ever make, but they’re forgetting about the cost of raising children, which far exceeds the average home price in the US.”

“Probably the biggest expense you’ll incur once the baby is born (excluding a college education) is for child care, which is especially expensive for infants. Even when your child is old enough to go to school, you’ll have after-school care, summer camps, and other related expenses. As soon as you start thinking about having a baby, start a baby fund. Put a set amount into the account each pay period to cover unexpected expenses (there definitely WILL be some and I guarantee they will be far more than you ever dreamed of).”

What does Suze Orman have to say about the topic? Does Suze even have kids? “Listen up. If you have a child, are about to have a child, or are simply considering having a child, here’s what you really need to get ASAP: life insurance, disability insurance, a will and living revocable trust, and a durable power of attorney for health care. And my advice is to take care of this well before you have a child. Who the heck has time to deal with anything but diapers and feedings once the baby arrives?”

All this talk, makes me think I better get my workday started and close some deals. I’m going to need some big fat commission checks real soon. Oh, my god, I’m saying what every parent has probably uttered in America… “I need to make more money.” Calm down, Nina, and just stick to the formula. Spend less on stuff, spend more on assets and all will be fine when that sweet little baby joins our home.